Dating is hard, what with the necessity of making conversation. While we can’t tell you what you should say on a date (possessing and distributing such knowledge is highly illegal), we can give you some pointers as to what you should avoid. ( Do not say:Collapse )
No, I do not believe in soulmates. I like the idea of it, but I believe (and come on, there's proof of it everywhere) that you can love more than one person, and love can be fleeting, and it can be destructive. I'd bet that a lot of the time one-sided unrequited love lasts longer than requited love (the whole wanting someone you can never have thing). And that none of that really goes with the concept of soulmates.
Of course, this is assuming soulmates necessarily have to be 'in love' in the couples - sort of way. What about soulmates who are bestfriends or family members or even a pet? If I believed in soulmates, I wouldn't believe soulmates only exist in the romantic sense.
Actually, my favourite idea - which I stole from Aristotle ("Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.") - of soulmates is the idea of a soul, split in half, and each half of the soul put in different bodies, becoming two different people, and then finding each other and just, existing together, because they'd actually be one, and - you'd never be lonely, and you'd have a connection with each other you don't have with other people.. I kind of stole the idea, but. I don't know. That would make god kind of sadistic (if you believe in god). It's a lovely idea, but that's all it is. You could love anyone, or at least an amount of people on earth, not just ONE. And like the prompt to write this said, if there was only one, imagine if they 'got away.' (And how the hell are you supposed to be able to tell if they are 'the one' anyway?) Or if you loved someone, but they weren't your soulmate and vice-versa, then they found and left you for their soulmate - but you still loved them, how is that fair? Does loving someone who isn't your soulmate make that love any less real or less justified?
If people honestly believe that, then f*ck it. What's the point.
For me... the people I love. Well. The ersatz affection I get from the ones I love are worth a thousand soulmates.
I think the word crush is better when it comes to love. The protagonist of the film 'Cashback' mentions the relevance. "Crush. It's funny how the same word for the feeling of disappointment can be used for the feeling of attraction. The Oxford English Dictionary states one of the meanings for the word crushed as "a strong and unreasoning, but transitory attachment."
Ben (protagonist of Cashback) also makes some other acute observations: "...One day she's with me and she's saying I love you, and the next week she's with someone else, probably saying the same thing. So did she really love me? What is love, anyway? And is it really that fleeting?"
"Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it."
"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." ~Rose Walker
Love to me is selfish - the "irresistable desire to be irresistably desired," it is the way someone makes you feel. It's about you, not them. I wish I could see a relationship (not in a book) where love is unselfish.
In the end, it all depends on the person, doesn't it? What love is to me wont necessarily be what love is to you.